My homemade bacon is the best.

There's the pork belly from the local casket, evil omnicorp and it tastes that way. It looks that way. The fat isn't contiguous, it's very granular and globby and gnarly, but you can see somebody making bacon if they know the trick is to bend it in the store and you can tell how much fat content like if there's no muscle at all. This will be quite stiff.

The muscle actually moves nicely, so you want to bend these and get the bendiest one. You can what's still in uh best before date. Now, if you get real pork belly from the butcher from an actual animal, it's off-putting because the bacon has a top note of pork where people, especially norday america, aren't used to having that actual flavor of an animal. So when i make bacon to give away, i always use this costco stuff and drain off some of this fluid.

I think mainly it's water, because profit water is cheap, meat's, expensive, there's the fat. You see how grainy and blubbery gelatinous it is. That doesn't happen when the pig's actually running around the the pigs you get from the butcher. It's not like that they maybe get to run around a little bit more now in order to cure the meat.

We got to make a brine with this prague powder, which is nitrate. Essentially, if you don't use this you'll kill somebody, that's what makes the flesh pink when you cut open bacon, otherwise, it'll be gray, got a gallon of water, a cup and a half of kosher salt cup of raw sugar, two teaspoons of pink stuff, pink salt. This is actually white, but it's the same stuff. I use seven, i kind of dial it back a little bit uh maple syrup.

I don't use that. I use molasses. I, like the molasses, kick better a bunch of sage, it's not the season. Normally i can go in the back 40 and just grab some sage, some thyme, a couple of garlics.

I got the garlic nope. He got no time so we're going to use the leftover parsley that gallon of water chooching away there we'll start with a single cup of raw sugar. This is golden sugar. Same same only different won't matter for this, but if you're baking, something you got to follow the recipe exact, and you also got to be cognizant of your elevation.

If you're baking, bread in aspen colorado, it's a little bit different than if you're bacon, bread in louisiana. Some black strap molasses from crosby's downtown inc. John new brunswick, proud herring, choker maid. You wouldn't believe the amount of people will get on a plane to go to st john's and end up in a time warp and disgorged in saint john talk up talk about disappointment.

Luckily, this recipe only goes to eight no need to take your shoes and socks off to count. How many was that about that? Much in case you're not privy to the inner workings of the blue ticket pink ticket north american marriage situation, let it be known that if you who let this mess of molasses and sugar boil over god, let that stew a little bit let the flavors coalesce! Well, i got some covet in my nose a trick. You never would have thunk this, but my wife come up with this one. You taste the marinade before you put it on the meat.
If the marinade doesn't taste good, the meat ain't gon na taste - good, it's still hot we're gon na transfer this out the side on account of there being snow on the ground. This is the most dangerous thing you can do a full pot full of fluid. You got to make sure you got proper footing, there's nothing slippery on the floor. There's no kids around! There's no dogs around there's! No because you don't think of it, but a pot of water.

You slip through the mr bean onto your back and third degree burns. All over your crutch, you know what, let's just let it sit for a while ain't, hurting anything hi sweetie and make sure there's no leaks. You put it in the fridge. Turn it over.

Every day, seven days, it'll firm right up, you'll, find it get uh stiff with a little manual still ignoring you, but the power pellets here. We'll get this thing hotted up, plus i clean off the bacon. It's been about a week, let's see if we can't get this thing, chooching the nuclear codes, hello smoker i got ta wash these off hello. Evan, like dial up internet ma, get off the phone.

I want to play dungeons and dragons, not the bbs weaken the difference. Flip and flopping in the fridge until it's stiffened right up and if we had a look at the meat should be nice and pink on the inside. Speaking of which we'll get this shmoo wiped off the big chunks, in any case, they're ready for the main event. Cold water got myself a fancy dish just for the occasion, big old, stainless steel, chafing dish to go with my arborite counter.

You believe some fellas give me about my non-granite counters. I think the kardashians around here, yeah padam dry. Don't let that white catholic guilt get to you use paper towel it grows on trees. The thing is with the reusable you think, you're doing yourself, a big favor and mother earth guy and so forth.

Let me tell you a partner. She don't give a. The thing. Is with the tea towels, they invariably withhold hair.

What gets on everything and nothing worse than porking down, and you get a gob full of hairs, especially of the golden reliever varietal sick that'll. Do pig precious cargo might be the american seatbelt extendo not going to reach we'll just drive gentle just notice this in the shot it strikes me. It would strike me as odd to have a big bat of baby flavored baby powder. Flavored vaseline in your gator has completely legitimate farming purposes.

The hens get a chafed ass and yeah completely legitimate farming paper, schmelin and she's done 150. Dungarees frankenstein is what we're looking for well smoked. Fellas were recommended. I changed the element here to a higher wattage element and i'm prone to agree on account of this thing not getting up to temperature until i put a wee blanket over top or crusty musty carpet.
That's the flavor good morning, good morning, chickadee is at a sleepover. I can't hardly even it's such a joyful glow. Baby doll is, with brother bear visiting her parents. She took the dog.

That means it's just me: the chickens, the chicks and the bunnies and they're all outside we're gon na have a special treat breakfast. Don't judge me. I, like him tall six foot ten, so i can fit it all. In said, you can glean a lot about a man's personality by what he reads.

I wouldn't know i just use them as expensive. Coasters, oh yeah, some vitamin b fatty boom body get in my belly here, don't get any better than that, maybe a little better! Oh me, hmm! That top note parsley really comes through. Oh, let's have a moment of silence for the postcoital bliss belly full of bacon. You likely heard the clarion call of all the angels in heaven that was my bacon.

I'm not one to boast much, but partner, hey, ah spy bunch of tarts a bunch of tarts. What kind lemon keep it up! Some nice dentist help make an honest woman out of you. Ah.

By AvvE

13 thoughts on “Bumbleforks smokin’ bacon”
  1. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Jim Hughes says:

    Cancer particles on cancer sticks…love it!

  2. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Fake Virus says:

    Your bacon is shite compared to the stuff here in Scotland. I wouldn't even use that as Pike bait Ave sir. Love you, nite nite

  3. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars MrAPCProductions says:

    the BBS? Woah, the wayback machine just broke.

  4. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Rusty Broken says:

    And you cook!!! Let me tell you… your wife is lucky I'm married. Otherwise, she'd have some pretty stiff competition!

  5. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Ryan R says:

    I don’t understand what he means in the beginning about a pig from a butcher tastes like pork and it’s off putting?

  6. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Vince Dibona says:

    Mmm, pork belly… bacon or so much more. Best belly I had was off a Korean BBQ, at least he claimed to be Korean. Name of Xuxo.

  7. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Sveinn Sigurdsson says:

    Stop torturing me!

  8. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Paulywauly says:

    Hummmmmm bacon….

  9. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Luke Foulger says:

    Mmmmmm baaaacon aaagghhhh

  10. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Jon Doe says:

    Hardest part about smoking bacon is keeping it lit. 😉

  11. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Leroy says:

    Bacon AvE has bacon I want

  12. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars benzmansl65amg says:

    Bacon. Awwwww. Fuck Yea!

  13. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Marcus Norman says:

    My favorite unklebumblefork!

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