Stuk Truk Fuk.

Oh never ends boys, factory-studded, hackapolitus, honey, centered on frozen water of all things. I'm gon na need some gloves for this job. There's one there's two: oh wait: i'm hungry, you're hungry you just had your lunch, a remorseless eating machine. Oh, my top i'll knock more gear time for the tractor, the glove ain't doing it.

This gentleman is, what's known as the walk of shame, hey baby doll. I stuck my truck. You help me out. Please only thing worse than asking your better three characters for help is shoveling turns out some forgot to put the chains on the tractor.

Okay, we're good! Thank you. Sometimes, working with her is like working against somebody else. You'd, almost rather shovel rebel alliance got some fancy rigging, nonetheless, stuck on the ice planet of the hoth hello tractor. Oh it just doesn't end.

Oh gas shots well she's making bit cold, but we'll walk the angry pixies to her she'll be touching in no time. Everything goes slower in the cold hands man. I oh it's safe to assume that red is positive. Oh yeah, ah christ, where the the key.

Now there we go. Oh a little hair on that hello tractor got the royal flush of zero on the gauges. Oh, why? You know oh yeah, ah, safety switch, keep the ref raffle corners. Oh come on.

You piece of starter relay fault. Oh, come on, i don't think she's going to start it anyway. The fuel looks like lime jello. My partner from the tolton nation taught me this.

One old indian trick: i could say that, on account of him being from the tall tan nation, get yourself an old tarp, some charcoal painty can ned's favorite ingredient, some old paint cans, and that way, you light her up. You put the tarp over top, gets hotted up might start, and that way, even if it doesn't start at least you can have a last meal before you freeze to death. He also taught me to trick what for finding south, we were looking out the window at a beautiful vista, says to me: hey, which way is south. I says if i know he says south is that away? I says: how do you know that? Because that's the way that the satellite dishes are pointed to the belly of a man-made hell, look at this.

There is a santa claus, a match set. Finally, fingered it out too, you keep fighting and fighting and fighting, and you realize it's christmas and that truck shall come out just fine in the spring.

By AvvE

14 thoughts on “Welcome to hoth. first time?”
  1. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Brad Carter says:

    When it rains it pours! One problem after the other! Fact! Karma says; "I'm not through with you yet! Remember the elderly lady going 25 in the 55 lane that you yelled at!!" And telling that sweet little old lady to give her license back to DMV ,because she shouldn't have one!! Well here's payback! 😆

  2. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Al Bundy says:

    Appreciate this, the swearing is exactly what my Dad sounds like when the snowblower doesn't start, or that one time we had to change a starter of my 87 F150 on the ground in the street on a 20 below day, good memories.

  3. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars James Zytaruk says:

    ive spent the last 2 days trying to start my wifes SUV in our driveway cuz the block heater cord was fubar'd… All it took was a Heater on the battery (in the cab), Old battery hooked to the new battery with booster cables, and a charger chargin' both! Feels like -36c here in Edmonton; and the FUCKIN' wind.. jaysus.

  4. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Shroomhead One says:

    I actually permanently have a lithium polymer bomb, i mean a jump pack in my frenchie automobile now because the damn thing won't chooch what with the cold and all. Not anywhere close to Hoth mind you, but Its like -10 dungrees science negates the presence of an alternator.

  5. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Geno c says:

    I feel your pain my man being located at the northern tip of the famous potato state its a balmy 15 degrees Fahrenheit out or – 9 degrees for everyone else in the world. Think warm happy thoughts and just remember frost bite only hurts for a little bit.

  6. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Damon Thomas says:

    I got fresh batteries and fuel in the plow truck, all fluids topped up. First storm, the transfer case lets go, no 4 wheel drive. Ok, I put a one ton boulder in the bed, strapped it down, traction problem solved. Next storm, I hit an obstacle with the corner of the plow, blew a line. Maybe I just won't go anywhere, don't really want to go anywhere anyway, winter is fun.

  7. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Poptart McJelly says:

    Reminds me of that time last winter when my car got stuck in snow, but the kind that half melted and then froze shut, such that all of my wheels were sitting in ice bowls.
    I could put it in gear and walk out and the car would idle with its wheels spinning just like that.
    So i slammed it into fourth gear and revved it up so that the friction melted all the ice and it slowly shredded its way out of its ice shackles.
    The cloud of steam coming off was huge and it all felt kind of dangerous but it was worth it.

  8. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Ryan Wilson says:

    I have the opposite problem. I have lots of left hand gloves. Always the right ones i misplace. They're the 10mm socket of the canadian glove world for me. Haha. We should exchage some.
    Hope everyone is staying safe and taking care

  9. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars ChiefJustice Middleton says:

    Feel the same living in Victoria I could just imagine Where You Are. My little Ford ronjer had a hard time getting into 4 wheel low as well as just trying to get into that frozen nuns cunt. Had to heat up water and dump it onto the top seal part of the door just to get it cracked enough where I can pry my frozen f**** fingers into the door and yank it open

  10. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Scrap Metal Fryslân says:

    This is why I love my old stuff,

    If it doesn't run, hit it with a hammer.
    90% percent change it will run.

    If it doesn't, check the glow plugs 😂

  11. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars TheRealBanana says:

    Watched a couple of guys in their truck try to get out of the ditch in front of my cabin for a solid 30 minutes. They only had 2w drive and no chains. Better part of my morning until they finally got free. But seriously who turns on an uphill street thats clearly iced over with 2w drive and no chains?

  12. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars JD shenanigans says:

    When a john deere becomes an o deere lmfao .i remember when we would light a fire under the old lorrys bur there be too much plastic and wire crap to do that. Just wait till its all electric cars then your have fun

  13. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Jr Payton says:

    Man this was my day of sorts. Almost quitting time. With lots of pain. Ya know. You don't know you went to far until you have went to far. I went to far. Thanks for sharing. Gonna go put my junk in a vise.

  14. Avataaar/Circle Created with python_avatars Carl Holm says:

    What's the temperature out there on Hoth? Had 18 below, science here yesterday. The 'ol Massey wasn't too keen but she started. Jokes on me tho, since I had to take the chains off, on account of fuckulating the fenders. Dropped a crane attachment from the 3-point onto the wagon I was pulling. Jammed it. Got stuck on an incline and had to desert everything but the tractor itself. Would have saved me a lot of grief if she didn't go that morning.

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